11.1.11

What a day to talk about the work that I do. Most of it are charity, really.

Part confession time: I sacked one of my bosses - the melodramatic tyrannic one whom I freelance for since I quit officially in 2007. Yes, and I seem to be addicted to her or the work she does so much so that I can't say no to until today. An increment of $50 is what she attempted to make me stay and that makes me feel even more insulted I brought forward the last day from end Mar to end Feb. My emails are of course nice and my resignation is accepted. A webmistress and email publicity machine no more. Freedom.

Pros and cons: Because of that and another piece of news that's equally significant received today, I am a step closer to focus on doing the real work. I also just received another offer to work for a friend but I really cannot phantom myself going back to being employed. I miss the loafing days, medical benefits, taking MCs, stable income. As a self-employed, I also love to loaf and still get paid, go massage and shopping while everybody else are stuck at work, and on the streets tell every financial adviser which insurer I represent and every bank officer that I don't qualify to take on their credit cards. Grins.

Passion !=Fulfilling: I only earn enough, really. Nothing to pay for any wedding, house or items on my wish list. Half of the consultative work that I do is not remunerated. I service some for free. I worked hard in my first two years, am still convicted in what I do, but because of distractions here and there, I give myself reasons to slack. I still preach money management and risk management, but I also admit I am stuck in my comfort zone.

Judgment: I still believe that people ought to be slapped out of their reality that their insurance is either too much - unnecessary or expensive. Sure, too much money. Unfortunately people prefer to learn it the hard way either from their personal experiences or from people close to them. I am a very good example. At the same time, I also know that people hate to be sold to and, believe that some things cannot be forced so I should just move on (to the next person or the next industry). No offense but I also cringe when people tell me having children is affordable and insurance not. What a disfavor they do to their little ones. Life. It's really about perception. Your brain doesn't know a reality except what you tell it. That is your reality.

What I love to do: Ambassador-flavored, charity-linked, education-focused. Improve living conditions in third world countries, give children their rightful education, fund TED, inspire people, work like Bill & Melinda Gates and Tim Ferriss and on the other hand, teach idiotic Singaporeans urbanites how to manage life and clutter. And how do I do that without earning lots of moohlahs? Frustration infinity.

Too idealistic: So my reality at current is depressing and my faith very challenged. I am getting myself to face it piece by piece. Maybe by nano fractions. So that I can find myself somewhere closer to what I want to do and stop thinking about ending it all.